Wednesday, September 24, 2008


This week I am working from home after last week's surgery (please see below). I have never tried this method before since going to work for my present employer some 5 1/2 years ago. No matter how much pain I was in or whatever my maladay, unless I was contagious, I have always dragged myself to the office.

This time I decided that the prudent thing to do was to try working from home in order to facilitate the healing progress and to also give myself a little break from my boss. Some of you may have read a few of my comments on various blogs about him and his various "idiosycrasies". Stop me if I'm wrong, but I think trying to answer the telephone by simply staring at it and saying "hello" smacks of odd. I actually have an entire list of certifiable weirdness attributed to him but it is at the office. It would make Charles Manson look sane, so just trust me on this.

At any rate, he is playing art director this week in my abscence, something he is wont to do when I am actually in the office. Hyperfocusing on a particular pet project is one of his favorite pastimes so yesterday I got a series of emails from him with helpful tips to speed me along in the design process:

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 9:15 AM
Subject: Swooshes
Add swoosh marks behind and arcing to right

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 9:31 AM
Subject: RE: Swooshes
Put all swooshes AT BOTTOM!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 10:46 AM
Subject: RE: Swooshes
Can’t get it out of Adobe…make swooshes lines , lets see if that helps.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 10:53 AM
Subject: RE: Swooshes

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 10:59 AM
Subject: RE: RE:RE: Swooshes
Pls send me art with no swooshes so I can try to get them parallel.

Needless to say, I spent much of the day attempting to interpret exactly what he meant by all of this swooshing, finally sending him a draft of what I hope will make him happy. I have not heard anything more from him today but expect to at any moment. He may be busy getting his meds refilled.
(editor's note: some of you actually know my esteemed employer so please, no names in the comments box if you please. These are tough economic times and I really need to stay employed right now.)


  1. deciphering e-mails about swooshes is the last thing you need to be doing while recovering. Tell him to go swoosh somewhere else. Lol

  2. Ok, heres the story G
    This guy is very involved in the Dallas restaurant scene, well known all over town and one year he was sponsoring the Cigar Tent at a huge Food Festival. His logo involves wings, so he called me (my company did weird graphics)
    and asked if he could get a large cigar incorporating the wings too and hang it in the tent. Well my graphics guys were very talented and we delivered a great product to him while he was out of the office. I get a phone call later that day and when I say hello, I hear a voice say "come get this huge flaming flying penis out of my office"- I just sat there, I wanted to say "you are certifiable" but I personally went and picked it up, let him berate me about what was wrong with it, changed it, and he loved it. Years go by and when G tells me one night she has taken a job with him, I dropped to my knees and said the rosary in tongues and I'm not even Catholic.

  3. I think BJ got it in a nutshell. It's always good to have backup when you tell people your boss is crazy. Of course everyone's boss is crazy. But mine REALLY IS.

  4. Swooshes?? As in a Nike swoosh? Or like the thing over the letter N when you write in Spanish? Did you ever get to the bottom of this one?

    Are you sure it wasn't the Lortab?! (of course I know it wasn't the Lortab. He's certifiable.)

  5. it's the little things like swooshes that will drive you to drink quicker than anything. Take TWO lortabs and call into work on Monday.

  6. Thanks to all of you for your sage advice on either what swooshes mean or how much Lortab to take and when.

    I am now back at work (physically but not emotionally. I would rather be at home on the sofa watching Lifetime with a Vodka tonic and Lortab).


    and go to Lorie's because I just
    punked you, now you must do the same............

    get busy