Monday, October 6, 2008


Paco and I were driving home from golf yesterday afternoon (or as he calls it "goof") and discussing the economy (see preceding article in case you have any doubts about how I feel about THAT).

The conversation shifted to couples finances and, more specifically, pre-nupes. Not ours because we don’t have one (I think only mistrustful rich people are the only ones who need bother with them) but other people whom we have known who either have one or suggested to their partner about having one. I have always taken the view that no one would even broach the subject unless they don’t have much faith that the marriage will last. Or else they have so much darn money that it really would mean financial ruin if the marriage dissolved.

At this point I got all lovey-dovey and said to Paco "For instance, you and I would never have considered asking each other for a pre-nupe. We are both committed to our marriage and went into it with 100% love and faith that we will be married until death-do-us part." Paco agreed with me and we continued driving. After considering this for another minute or two, I added "And not that this will ever, ever happen, but if for some unknown reason you and I did end up getting divorced, I would certainly never try and demand half of any assets you may have had prior to our marriage. It would only be about community property and nothing else. I just don't understand people who try and take each other to the cleaners. That is just awful." At this point I was feeling especially close to my new husband, not to mention slightly holier-than-thou at my unparalleled selflessness and refusal to ever become a greedy soon-to-be ex-wife. Funny how my high-and-mightiness was so short-lived…

Paco: “What if you were mad at me, though?”
Me: “What do you mean? Why would I be mad at you?”
Paco: “Well, presumably if you wanted a divorce you would be mad at me about something, right? Why else would you want to get divorced?”
Me: “That’s weird. If never occurred to me that I would be mad at you but I guess why else would we be splitting up. What did you do?"
Paco: “Well, what if I had an affair or something equally terrible? Would you still only insist on splitting up our assets post-marriage, or would you go after my entire net worth?”
Me: Gosh, I never thought about that. Hell, yes, I would go after them. I wouldn't want half, I would want all of it. You could just wave your money goodbye at that point, Buster. How dare you!”

Paco laughed all the way home about my sudden about-face while I thanked my good fortune to be married to someone with whom I could even have this kind of conversation in the first place.


  1. you may need my recipe for Cat Food Caserole....

  2. you are the lucky one ... I walked from my first marraige with next to zero and he did do bad bad things ...

    Going into this marriage with MIC I said up front - no divorce ... choices are :

    Death - that is straight forward enough - I prefer grieving widow to gay divorcee ... I look pretty neato in black.

    Desertion (sp error ?) - you know where they just vanish ... and leave all the material wealth and kids with you ... then I'd have material for a few blog posts and maybe a novel ...

    The third option was a seperate dwelling in the rear corner of the yard with a connecting bit to the current house that would be the kids zone - with MIC in the new bit and me in the old house ...

    Good to have my bases covered me thinks - a woman once f**ked over is twice shy or alternatively could be an angry beast should it happen again ...

    Which it won't - I am, after all is said and done a cockeyed optimist at heart :) bye le

  3. I walked away from my first marriage with the wedding silver.
    And It was Heavy.

    Course one of the main reasons I divorced the bastard was that he would never think of offering assistance with such a burden, but I digress...

  4. My 15 year starter marriage ended fairly amicably, mostly because I was willing to cough up the required $$ to sweeten the deal. It was money well-spent. I would never have met wonderful, handsome, sweet-as-pie Paco otherwise. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.